They say everything’s bigger in Texas—including our sense of humor when it comes to justice. This Valentine’s Day, Texas police departments are ditching the chocolates and roses in favor of something a little more… binding. Forget the romance; if your ex has an outstanding warrant, local law enforcement is offering a one-of-a-kind “gift package” that includes handcuffs, a chauffeured ride in a squad car, and a VIP stay in the county jail.
Gun Barrel City PD is turning heartbreak into handcuffs with their cheeky call to action:
“Know an ex with a warrant? Let us set them up with an exclusive Valentine’s experience!”
Anonymous tips are encouraged, and the department promises a “luxury” arrest package complete with “platinum bracelets” (handcuffs), complimentary transportation (a fully equipped police vehicle), and a glamorous photoshoot (mugshot included, of course). To top it off, there’s even a romantic, state-funded dinner waiting at the jailhouse.
Floresville Police Department: The Full-Service Valentine’s Day Special
Taking things up a notch, Floresville PD is offering what can only be described as a concierge-level arrest experience. Their promotion reads like an all-inclusive getaway, promising:
- Free transportation (because nothing says “romance” like a backseat ride in a police cruiser)
- Secure accommodations (aka a jail cell, complete with steel bars for that rustic touch)
- A candlelit dinner (or, more accurately, a county-provided meal on a metal tray)
- A professional photo session (one mugshot to cherish forever)
- And a pair of “shiny bracelets” (handcuffs, naturally)
The department is urging folks to call in tips on exes with active warrants, ensuring they “won’t be spending Valentine’s alone.” Now that’s what we call community service.
Midland Crime Stoppers is also getting in on the fun, marketing their version of this Valentine’s special as an “unforgettable gift” for former flames who have unfinished business with the law. While they won’t provide chocolates or teddy bears, they will ensure your ex gets a warm welcome at the county lockup.
Naturally, the reactions from Texans have been as bold as the Lone Star State itself. One local, Bubba Johnson, chimed in on Facebook:
“Well, my ex sure deserves a free ride—just not in my truck this time!”
Another user commented,
“This is the kind of petty energy I love to see on Valentine’s Day. Where do I sign up?”
Meanwhile, a local legal expert offered a more measured take, saying,
“It’s certainly an unconventional approach, but anything that helps clear outstanding warrants while engaging the community is a win.”
