Can a single friendship change how men see the world?
Former President Barack Obama believes it can. In a heartfelt discussion on the July 16, 2025, episode of his wife Michelle Obama’s podcast, IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, Obama made a compelling case for why every man should have a gay friend to grow in empathy and kindness. His words, rooted in personal experience, cut through the noise of today’s polarized debates, offering a clear call for connection and understanding.
The episode, titled “Focus On What’s Right About Young Men with Barack Obama,” tackled the challenge of raising emotionally intelligent boys. Responding to a listener’s question, Obama shared a perspective that’s both practical and profound.
“[Men] need [a gay friend] to show empathy and kindness, and by the way, you need that person in your friend group, so if you then have a boy who is gay or nonbinary or what have you… They have someone that can go, ‘Okay, I’m not alone in this,’”
He said. This statement underscores his belief that diverse friendships not only build better men but also create safe spaces for young people exploring their identities.
Obama didn’t stop there. He drew from his own life to illustrate the point, recalling a college professor who left a lasting mark.
“I had a gay professor in college at a time when openly gay folks still weren’t out a lot, who became one of my favorite professors,”
He shared.
“You need that to show empathy and kindness. And by the way, you need that person in your friend group so that if you then have a boy who is gay or non-binary, they have somebody that they can go, okay, I’m not alone in this.”
This personal story, echoing reflections in his 2020 memoir A Promised Land, highlights how his professor’s authenticity shaped his understanding of compassion during a time when being openly gay was rare.
Produced by the Obamas’ production company, Higher Ground, the podcast pairs candor with universal storytelling.
Obama’s words fall under the larger conversation surrounding reimagining manhood as a more emotionally aware, less stereotypical proposition. He talked about how he was raised, by a single mother and influenced by life spent in Indonesia, and how it shaped his concept of how to be a man. For Obama, same-sex friendships are at the core of the equation, allowing men the ability to develop the empathy needed to lift up others, especially young boys struggling with their own identities.
The former president’s message lands with urgency in 2025, as discussions about gender and inclusion dominate public discourse. By advocating for gay friendships, Obama isn’t just talking about personal growth; he’s pointing to a societal shift. Men who embrace diverse perspectives become role models, fostering communities where everyone feels seen. This aligns with his broader push for raising boys who are both self-sufficient and compassionate, a theme that resonates deeply in today’s world.
Obama’s message challenges men to step outside of their comfort zones and create friendships that broaden their hearts. His call to action is simple but persuasive: reach out to the people who live in alternate realities in order to be more human. Parents, mentors, anyone invested in the kinder future, pay attention: the IMO episode with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson is must-listening, delivering wisdom that seems simultaneously timeless and timely.
