In a dimly lit Brooklyn bar over Valentine’s Day weekend, the air buzzed with chatter and clinking glasses. Fifteen women mingled around high-top tables, sipping wine and scanning the room. Only five men showed up, despite the event’s bold pricing twist: $100 tickets for women, free entry for men. Organizer rationale? “There are a lot more women out there interested in showing up for these dating events, and it’s not as easy to get men to show up,” as noted in The New York Times’ “The Daily” podcast. Luke Vander Ploeg, the producer who attended, captured the lopsided vibe firsthand.
This wine mixer wasn’t an outlier. It’s part of a growing trend in NYC’s singles scene, where post-pandemic shifts have made finding connections tougher than ever.
A tweet from X.
NYC’s demographics play a big role. U.S. Census data shows about 92 men for every 100 women in the city. That slight skew gets amplified in dating circles, especially among college-educated singles, where women often outnumber men.
Add dating app burnout to the mix. After years of swiping, many are ditching apps for real-life events. But as Vander Ploeg reported, apps have “reduced people’s tolerance for real-world rejection and made in-person approaches rarer.”
A 2023 Stanford-linked study on the “paradox of choice” explains why: too many options lead to decision fatigue and lower satisfaction in matches. In NYC, where apps can feel like endless catalogs, this hits hard.
Cultural views are shifting too. A 2025 Gallup poll found 40% of young adults see marriage as outdated, per broader surveys reflecting indifference to traditional commitments. Debates rage over gender roles, with some men citing “headaches” in local dating and turning to international options, while women push back on events that seem illogical for “high-option” men.
Events are getting creative. Beyond wine mixers, things like Wrestling Speed Dating mix fun with mingling, drawing crowds tired of standard setups.
Online, it’s gone viral. An X post by @raphousetv2 summed it up:
“The New York Times Reports That Dating In NYC Has Gotten So Brutal That Some Singles Events Are Charging Women $100 And Letting Men In For Free The Men Still Aren’t Showing Up!”
Memes and reaction videos flood platforms, framing it as a “victory” for men or a sign of “broken” dynamics.
Social media amps up the drama, but facts stick to documented trends like app fatigue and urban imbalances. It’s not a full-blown crisis, yet it highlights real frustrations.
