In a rare and candid interview, actress and model Lauren London shared her journey of healing after the death of her longtime boyfriend, Nipsey Hussle. The Grammy-nominated rapper, entrepreneur, and community activist was shot and killed just outside his own clothing store located in Los Angeles on March 31, 2019. He was 33 years old.
London and Hussle had been together for six years and shared a son, Kross, who was two years old at the time of his father’s death. They also co-parented London’s son, Cameron, from a previous relationship with rapper Lil Wayne.
London revealed how she coped with the loss of her soulmate, how she changed her perspective on life and death, and how she found her purpose and peace.
The Rollercoaster of Healing
London admitted that nothing prepared her for the pain and grief that followed Hussle’s death. She said that she had to learn how to survive without him, how to breathe, smile, and live again.
“I had done a lot of internal work with reading and learning, but experiencing loss took me to another realm of hurt and healing,”
she said.
She said that her healing journey “just started” three years after Hussle’s death and that she still has moments of grief and pain.
“It’s a rollercoaster. Some days I feel strong, some days I feel hopeful, some days I feel angry, some days I feel broken. But I’m learning to ride it with grace and faith,”
she said.
She said that she relies on her family, friends, and fans for support but also on herself.
“I have to be my own best friend, my own therapist, my own cheerleader. I have to remind myself of who I am, what I’ve been through, and what I can overcome,”
she said.
She also said she finds comfort in Hussle’s music, legacy, and spirit.
“His voice, words, energy, they’re always with me. He’s always with me. He guides me, he protects me, he inspires me. He’s my angel,”
she said.
The Etiquette of Death
London also discussed the concept of “death etiquette,” which she defined as the way people treat someone who has lost a loved one.
She said that she appreciates genuine love and sensitivity from those around her, but sometimes, she feels uncomfortable with the pity and awkwardness that some people display.
“I don’t need people to feel sorry for me. I don’t need people to tiptoe around me. I don’t need people to act like they know what I’m going through. I just need people to be real, to be present, to be human,”
she said.
She said that she understands that death is a complex topic for many people and that everyone has their own way of coping and expressing their condolences.
But she also said that she wishes people would be more mindful and respectful of how they approach someone who is grieving.
“Don’t ask me how I’m doing if you don’t really care. Don’t tell me to be strong if you don’t know what that means. Don’t tell me to move on if you don’t know where I’m going. Don’t tell me what to do if you don’t know what I need. Just listen, just hug, just love,”
she said.
The Work of Shadow
London also revealed that she has been doing shadow work on herself, which she described as the process of confronting and healing the dark and hidden aspects of one’s personality.
She said that she started doing shadow work after reading a book by Debbie Ford called The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, which was recommended to her by a friend.
The book helped her understand and accept the parts of herself she had previously denied, rejected, or projected onto others.
She said that doing shadow work has also reshaped her views on judgment and empathy.
“I used to judge people a lot, especially on social media. I used to think that I knew better, that I was better. But then I realized that I was only judging them because I was judging myself. I was projecting my own insecurities, fears, and wounds onto them,”
she said.
She also said that she learned to have more compassion and understanding for others and herself.
“I realized that everyone is going through something, everyone has a story, everyone has a shadow. And instead of judging them, I should try to help or at least not hurt them. I should try to see them as they are, not as I want them to be. I should try to love them as they are, not as I think they should be,”
she said.
The Love of Nipsey
London also spoke fondly of Hussle, whom she described as a profound thinker, a visionary, and a source of unwavering support and love.
London met Hussle in 2013, when she was casted as the lead actress in his music video for the song “Crenshaw and Slauson.” They had an instant connection, and they soon became friends, partners, and collaborators.
She said that Hussle was unlike anyone she had ever met and that he challenged her to grow and evolve.
“He was so smart, so wise, so spiritual. He had a different perspective on everything. He taught me so much, about life, about love, about myself. He made me a better woman, a better mother, a better human,”
she said.
She said Hussle was also her best friend, confidant, and soulmate.
“We never argued or fought. But I would be crazy sometimes, and in those moments, he never lost his cool, never disrespected me back, or called me out my name. He loved me anyway. I would get hot headed, sometimes out of line, and aimed at him cause it was easy, but he would love me, hug me, and he would stay patient and bring me back to character. That’s how I know I lost my soulmate. No one else is gonna love me like him. No one else comforts my soul like he did. He was my positive when the devil threw his negative my way. He was a MAN. He was my best half,”
she said.
She said that she misses him every day and that she still feels his presence and his love.
“He’s always in my heart, in my mind, in my soul. He’s always with me, in everything I do, in everything I am. He’s my angel, my protector, my guide. He’s my everything,”
she said.
The Dream of Purpose
London also shared how Hussle’s death has changed her aspirations and dreams.
She said that before, she used to chase external validation, such as awards, fame, and money. She wanted to win an Oscar, be recognized as a great actress, and be successful and respected in the industry.
But after losing Hussle, she realized those things were not as important as she thought. She said that she realized her true purpose was serving God, humanity, and herself.
London wants her platform, voice, and gifts to spread love, peace, and positivity. She also wants to help others who are going through similar situations by inspiring, empowering, and healing them.
She said she wants to honor Hussle’s legacy, continue his mission, and fulfill his vision.
She wants to be a light in the world, a light for him and herself.
“I don’t care about awards anymore. I don’t care about fame anymore. I don’t care about money anymore. I care about my purpose, my passion, my peace. I care about making a difference, making an impact, making a change. I care about being a vessel, being a channel, being a blessing. I care about being me, being true, being free,”
she said.
The Connection of Spirit
London also expressed her desire for a deeper spiritual connection with God and herself.
She said that she believes that this is what Hussle would want for her and that she needs for herself.
“I want to get closer to God, to know Him more, to love Him more, to trust Him more. I want to get closer to myself, to know myself more, to love myself more, to trust myself more. I want to get closer to my purpose, to know my purpose more, to love my purpose more, to trust my purpose more. I want to get closer to Him, to Him, to Him,”
she said.
This interview is a rare and candid glimpse into Lauren London’s journey toward healing and self-discovery in the wake of Nipsey Hussle’s tragic passing.
It is a testament to her strength, resilience, and grace, as well as to her love and admiration for Hussle, who was not only her partner, but her best friend, her soulmate, and her angel.
It is also a source of inspiration and hope for anyone who has experienced loss, grief, or trauma and who is seeking to find their purpose, peace, and connection in life.
It is a reminder that we all deserve true love at least once in a lifetime, even if it’s for just a moment.